Let's Take A Walk on the Wild Side...

Wow.
Well seeing I've not typed here in a very long time. Things have changed, as is the way of life.

I don't really know what I'm expected to say nor do I know what I want to say. Though I do know I want to talk or type to anyone that wants to listen or read. I'd guess that would make me a drama queen. Ha, hardly.
I want to be as far away from drama as I can, despite that, it surrounds me. I think I was born to be surrounded by it, even though I detest it.

I wish I could be more imaginative, or rather, a more imaginative writer. But alas, I am not. We can't all have what we want. And I guess if we did, everything would be boring.

Does it need to be so hard though? I mean, ALL the time?


Tomorrow though, I'm changing my hair colour. So shallow it sounds but maybe it'll be what I need to make the changes that I, as a person, need.

Let's take a walk on the wild side.

xoxox

How To Fix Everything..

You only take an interest when you're bored.

'No one is available to chat'

So. Been on my own today and yesterday, well Steven came round at 10pm - but I don't think that counts as he left at 8am, meaning I didn't really have much time to talk or banter before bedtime.
It's kinda made me realise everything is a bit sucky just now, well more so than usual. I've been talking to my kitten (more so than normal) due to my severe lack of company. My best mate is always working and everyone else I know stays too far away or just doesn't have the time. I've been so fucking bored of being bored!

I was opening Facebook chat earlier to see who was online and it took an age to load saying 'no one is available to chat', story of my week much? I know this is a pretty depressing blog but I'm feeling pretty low (self-pity is always attractive) and I have no one to talk to about it, hence the typing here.

I finally got a job in a salon near me but it's voluntary. Pretty much so I can get the experience every employer wants. Hoping to impress them and get a PAID job. Makes me pretty annoyed with myself that I never took the job I was offered when I was doing work experience in a different salon. But hey, everything happens for a reason, no? Once I show them how capable I am, I'm sure something will come of it. Even if future employers see it on my CV and know that I have experience. It's a shame all the countless 'homers' I do, don't count. Fuck it. I'm really excited, I've to go down on Thursday and I cannot wait.

Feeling pretty anxious and thoughtful about other aspects of my life but I'm not going into detail here, maybe when one of my 'friends' finally has time for me I can babble about it to them.

Spent a great deal of time lately wishing I'm not who I am. Not in the literal sense but just changing aspects of my thoughts and personality that I hate but can't seem to shift. I don't know if any of you ever get this.. but my automatic reactions and the stupid little things that piss me off, piss me off that they piss me off!

Aw, I dunno. These are the ramblings of a nutter butter.

I'm sure I could go on and on and on about silly little things that don't matter. But then again, someone once said to me 'If it matters to you, it matters'. Maybe I just need a little inspiration. Or medication as the case may be!

Anyway, I'm going to leave it at this... before I sound even more self-pitying! I'm sure once I'm working and back at college, these silly things won't matter as much. Just need to wait and see how it all goes I guess!

xox

Teen Angst, that still applies at 21..

So, I was clearing out my room (moving house an' all that) and came across one of my many, many notebooks full of lyrics/statements/feelings from when I was 16. A lot of it is pretty good but some really does make me want to curl up and die! The reason for this blog though, is one entry full of hate. I'd decided for whatever reason to vent my hates on paper. Some, maybe most of it still applies. Although it's kinda depressing, I'm pretty proud of it. And here we go:

"I Hate you"
I hate that I screwed up,
I hate that I can't do anything about it.
I hate that I can't make you believe what I say.
I hate that I'm too pathetic to do anything drastic.
I hate that you can't see how much I care.
I hate how you can't be in my shoes and feel how I feel.
I hate that I caused all of this.
I hate that there is no point to life if you feel like this.
I hate that I can't make you see what I'm willing to risk.
I hate that you think I'm so insignificant.
I hate that you judge me so harshly.
I hate that you're so selfish.
I hate that I'm so selfish.
I hate that you talk to HER, of all people.
I hate that I don't have enough patience for your silence.
I hate that I don't have enough courage to speak.
I hate that my objections and comebacks are so weak.
I hate that my weak replies irritate you.
I hate that you don't understand me.
I hate that you think I don't understand you.
I hate that you think time will resolve this.
I hate that you think pushing problems away, solves them.
I hate that I'm holding back.
I hate that I'm so insecure.
I hate that I have to beg you.
I hate that I have SO many childish fears.
I hate that your words are so calm.
I hate that I can't stand it when you're calm.
I hate that you can't do anything else but agree to me begging.
I hate that I'm so weak.
I hate that I'm such a coward.
I hate that I'm so broken.
I hate that I can't end this.
I hate that I don't know who I am anymore.
I hate that I'm frightened of what I'm becoming.
I hate that I've built walls around myself.
I hate that I can't let anybody in.
I hate that I won't sleep.
I hate that I'm too scared of life to do anything.
I hate that I have no one else to support me.
I hate that you make me think this way.
I hate that I always say things I don't mean.
I hate that I can never be myself.
I hate having to put on an act for everyone.
I hate that I can't trust and yet still trust far too easily.
I hate love.
I hate that I LET you make me feel this way.




I hate that I hate all these things and yet, love you to death...






Yeah. Some teen angst in all of that. Yet, I love it's poetry. I may have only been 16 but it would seem I was older than my years.

And maybe depressed. Hahah.

xox

#100FactsAboutMe

Wanted to do this when it was a trending topic on Twitter but I'm not that evil as to bombard my followers with 100 Tweets in a row. So I figured that I should put it in a blog, then folks can feel free to read it without it being forced upon them. Think it'll be pretty hard though...

1. My name is 'Jade Parfery', I'm the only person in the UK with this name. Makes me super easy to find on the internet!
2. I'm 5ft tall, exactly. Or small, as the case may be.
3. I currently have 13 piercings but have had 24 in total. (I think, not good at counting nor remembering.)
4. I also have 5 tattoos at the moment.
5. My favourite TV show ever is 'Supernatural'.
6. I'm in my final year at college, I'm doing my HND Year 2 in Beauty Therapy.
7. I used to suffer extremely bad panic/anxiety attacks and still get them to this day, though not as bad.
8. My Legal title is 'Lady'. My Mum bought me a small area of land for my 16th birthday because I'm pretty much the epitome of a Lady.
9. I smoke and have done for so long it's disgusting. I will stop one day. I'm the only smoker I know that despises smoking to an extreme extent.
10. I have been going out with the same boy (Steven) for nearly 5 years. He's a non-smoker too! I plan on marrying him one day. 
11. I have a kitten named 'Cuticle'. She is one of the most important aspects of my life. She can be much nicer than most of the people I know. She is named so because I'm a beauty therapist, she has long nails and she's cute.
12. I NEVER leave the house without make up. This is due to the fact I have really bad skin. I had problem skin growing up and it's left me in not so good condition! Maybe that's why I decided to become a Beauty Therapist. Most teenagers have no idea what's available and what suits their skin needs. But I digress...
13. I'm a bit of a fan of the old Twitter! Follow me @QuarterQueen :)
14. I have big boobs. (What? It's a fact!)
15. Apparently when I'm drunk I can be EXTREMELY funny. Which I guess is kinda nice because I'm not that witty in day to day life! ;)
16. The first song I ever bought was 'Spice Girls - Too Much'. It was a cassette that cost me 75p. I was SO chuffed.
17. My favourite Disney film is 'Sleeping Beauty'.
18. I plan on naming my salon 'Aurora Beauty' after Sleeping Beauty. 
19. I also plan on naming my daughter 'Briar-Rose' again, after Sleeping Beauty.
20. I can't drive but I seriously wish I could!
21. I have the ability to lose ANYTHING. I'll put something down and immediately it will be gone. Bane of my life!
22. I'm blonde and can often act that way. But I am quite smart and not the usual 'bimbo' type. Call me that and I will instantly hate you.
23. I appreciate good spelling and grammar.
24. My Geography skills are laughable. I have no idea where anything is in the world. Saying that, I am getting better. Steven has taught me a lot!
25. The first thing I'll notice on a girl is her eyebrows. It kills me to see horrible eyebrows, dear God. Even when watching TV, all I'll notice is 'brows.
26. The first thing I notice on guys is their teeth and hair.
27. I have never broken a bone in my body.
28. I have never stayed over night in a hospital.
29. My family is so utterly dysfunctional. I know most families are but Jesus, you haven't met mine. -_-
30. 'Vice City' is my all time favourite game.
31. I'm very insecure & slightly depressive.
32. I try too hard and I'm too nice. Most people that know me tell me this is my downfall.
33. I like a good drink of the alcohol variety along with a laugh. Generally love to sing when drink also but who doesn't!
34. Some say I'm a pessimist, I just think I'm a realist.
35. My laptop is baby pink! As is my camera! :D
36. Sometimes I wish I lived in the 1800s, so I could wear all the massive puffy dresses and go to balls. :D
37. I have very few friends, most people I've known in my life have fucked me over or just left me. What does that say about me?! Haha.
38. I'm very flirtatious.
39. I'm quite pedantic.
40. My favourite phone was my BlackBerry Bold. I had it for one month and it got stolen. FML! I was so upset, you wouldn't believe.
41. I own so much jewelry, that I probably wouldn't be able to wear it all in one lifetime!
42. I adore shoes (especially very high heels). 
43. My favourite ice cream is Ben & Jerry's Caramel Chew Chew.
44. I once ran away from home when I was 11 years old. To my friends house... in the same street. Told my younger sister not to tell my Mum and guess what? She did!
45. I procrastinate so much that I have no clue how I get anything done.
46. I don't believe in 'Love at First Sight', I believe in 'Lust at First Sight'.
47. I'm TERRIFIED of being alone.
48. I swear too often, how unladylike! 
49. My phobias include; Moths, the bottom of boats, water, long grass and throwing up. I will try EVERYTHING within my power to not be sick. Ugh, scary. :(
50. I'm very sarcastic. 
51. I have little Barbie ornaments that are YEARS old from MacDonald's Happy Meals. They're better and much prettier than normal Barbie's. I'm pretty sure I'll keep them forever.
52. I hate beer/lager/cider. But I do like Vodka and wine.
53. My favourite alcohol is Champagne. 
54. My favourite cocktails are; Cosmopolitans & White Russians.
55. I love the font 'Script'. I wish I could write like that.
56. My room is always a mess, even though I tidy it like 15 times a week! This is quite strange due to the fact I'm obsessive about keeping the rest of the house tidy.
57. I LOVE cheese. All cheese, including goats cheese. 
58. If my sister and I weren't sisters, I doubt we'd be friends. Which I sad, I used to be so close to her.
59. I despise football.
60. I detest gold jewelry and only wear silver/white gold or platinum.
61. I love music with good lyrics. I'll listen to the lyrics before I do the tune.
62. I've only been abroad once in my life; to Greece when I was 11 years old.
63. I adore reading, I'd rather read a book than watch a film.
64. I love to dance.
65. My heartthrobs include; Ville Valo, Jensen Ackles, Johnny Depp, Ian Somerhalder, M Shadows, Adam Ant (back in the day obv), Eminem and Nixon. 
66. I have lots of female crushes! Christina Aguilera being my fave. 
67. I feel so lucky to be loved.
68. I appreciate my Mum, even though she may do my head in!
69. My preferred paper to read is 'The Daily Record'. I have no idea why or how, it just is.
70. I would love to swim with dolphins, they're just amazing.
71. I enjoy gardening. My favourite flowers are Orchids.
72. When I was in school I was the teachers pet. Always above my age level, never done anything wrong. Yet I had loads of piercings and smoked...
73. I detest loading the dishwasher yet I don't mind washing dishes by hand.
74. I am OCD when it comes to the cleanliness of the glasses I drink out of.
75. I seriously hate dance/trance whatever it's called. It's just noise! I'm aware I sound old...
76. I'm 21 years old, still feel about 14 though! I have to have ID for everything, I must look about 12.
77. I was born in Glasgow. In Rutherglen Hospital, which is now no longer there!
78. I got my name from 'James Dean'. The JA from James and the DE from Dean. Talk to my Mother about that... Haha.
79. I have an older brother called Sam. He's 22 turning 23 soon. We don't talk, it's a shame.
80. My first real kiss was disgusting, I actually ran away from the boy! Ironically enough, my boyfriend is mates with him!
81. I have never voted. I just believe no one will provide what the country needs, even though they all promise to do so. So I just don't bother. 
82. I'm very empathetic. I seem to be able to help everyone and anyone with any problem, yet I can't seem to do it for myself.
83. I love movies but I cannot put a favourite here. I just can't choose. The same goes for songs...
84. I am VERY indecisive and I would LOVE it if someone could make all my choices for me.
85. I have perfect eyesight, never needed glasses.
86. I'm quite lucky on Twitter, many celebrities follow/followed me. Including Ian Watkins of Lostprophets fame; he actually put me on the guest-list/VIP for his Glasgow gig and then invited me to the Edinburgh one the next night. Had arguments with Nixon of Framing Hanley fame and Jason Statham. I won backstage passes to a Dragonforce gig also. Along with all the UFC fighters and TapouT's Skrape. And so on and so forth...
87. I LOVE Mexican food. There's not enough Mexican restaurants in EK.
88. Oh yeah, I stay in East Kilbride. A town just outside of Glasgow.
89. I can't eat any meat that is on the bone. Ugh.
90. I love Indian food over Chinese.
91. My hangover cure is a MacDonald's or KFC.
92. I rarely, if ever, forget a face. I'll remember you even when you have no clue who I am. It sucks because I feel foolish not knowing if I should say hi, due to the fact I remember you and you forgot me.
93. I LOVE to shop. As all females do of course. But seriously, I could shop all day everyday.
94. I enjoy ironing.
95. I wear summer clothes in the winter. Probably the whole 'fashion before comfort' thing. At the end of the day, I'd rather look good whilst I'm young. When I'm old and want comfort, then it shall be so.
96. I do not believe in religion.
97. Sleep, sex & food are my favourite things. 
98. I hate salt but I love pepper.
99. I wear perfume by Christina Aguilera. It's my favourite smell ever. Apart from White Diesel/Red Lacoste on Steven. Yum!
100. I've never had a wish come true...

So there we go! My God I had a hard time. I'm supposed to know me better than anyone, yet I struggled to come up with 100 facts! Hey ho.

Hope you enjoy and get to know me better; I'm not all that bad. Half the time. ;)

xox

Procrastination.

So here I am, laying on my bed with a glass of Diet Coke (I hate Diet Coke). I have a sore head and a runny nose; always fun. Started reading the second of two books I got out the library, only to notice they're about the same guy and I was reading the second book before the first. Hate when that happens. -_- They're not even that good tbph, was rushed when looking as the library was about to shut. I am aware this is all extremely exciting news.

Off college all this week and so far I have done sweet FA with my time; I am the laziest person ever. Decided that tomorrow I'm gonna get up and get everything in order. This refers to me tidying my room, finishing all outstanding coursework and... well I can't actually think of anything else. Have a client on Thursday for waxing and then heading out with Jully to hand CV's into all known salons in the EK area. Jade needs a job! The complete lack of money in my life at this moment is terrificly shocking. Made all the more worse by the fact I have so many bills to pay and not enough money to cover them all. Then made worse again by the fact my Mother is downsizing from our 3 bedroom house to a one bedroom flat, effectively making me homeless. Well, not really, more so room-less.. as I'm sure her couch will be free. I'll more than likely spend my time flitting from her flat to my boyfriends house. Least I'll save a Hell of a lot of money on dig payments.. So in the long run, that may be a solution to my money woes. Or maybe that point is null due to the fact I should be working by then.

Feeling dreadfully unhealthy this week and it's no wonder with all the crap I've been eating. Ever get that way you start craving salad?! My diet is a whole can of worms that I just cba adding to the list of things I need to sort out. Procrastination is my best talent, honestly. Something tells me I need to get a grip on life.

Wish me luck getting a job!

xox

Unusual..

Drunk. Which is not unusual, as the title would suggest. What is unusual, is that I'm happy whilst drunk.
This rarely happens, unless I'm on a night out. It feels great, really. My man is here and he made me feel like a dick, which he does often.. Half the time he is right but when I am, I wish he wouldn't make me feel so damn BLONDE. 
Love him completely though, so I digress.

Talking to some old friends and randomers on Facebook chat, they're totes awesome and I NEED people like that in my life. Sick and tired of 'fairweather' friends that use my good nature. And I am TOO good to people that do not deserve it.

Loving some good banter!

xox