'No one is available to chat'

So. Been on my own today and yesterday, well Steven came round at 10pm - but I don't think that counts as he left at 8am, meaning I didn't really have much time to talk or banter before bedtime.
It's kinda made me realise everything is a bit sucky just now, well more so than usual. I've been talking to my kitten (more so than normal) due to my severe lack of company. My best mate is always working and everyone else I know stays too far away or just doesn't have the time. I've been so fucking bored of being bored!

I was opening Facebook chat earlier to see who was online and it took an age to load saying 'no one is available to chat', story of my week much? I know this is a pretty depressing blog but I'm feeling pretty low (self-pity is always attractive) and I have no one to talk to about it, hence the typing here.

I finally got a job in a salon near me but it's voluntary. Pretty much so I can get the experience every employer wants. Hoping to impress them and get a PAID job. Makes me pretty annoyed with myself that I never took the job I was offered when I was doing work experience in a different salon. But hey, everything happens for a reason, no? Once I show them how capable I am, I'm sure something will come of it. Even if future employers see it on my CV and know that I have experience. It's a shame all the countless 'homers' I do, don't count. Fuck it. I'm really excited, I've to go down on Thursday and I cannot wait.

Feeling pretty anxious and thoughtful about other aspects of my life but I'm not going into detail here, maybe when one of my 'friends' finally has time for me I can babble about it to them.

Spent a great deal of time lately wishing I'm not who I am. Not in the literal sense but just changing aspects of my thoughts and personality that I hate but can't seem to shift. I don't know if any of you ever get this.. but my automatic reactions and the stupid little things that piss me off, piss me off that they piss me off!

Aw, I dunno. These are the ramblings of a nutter butter.

I'm sure I could go on and on and on about silly little things that don't matter. But then again, someone once said to me 'If it matters to you, it matters'. Maybe I just need a little inspiration. Or medication as the case may be!

Anyway, I'm going to leave it at this... before I sound even more self-pitying! I'm sure once I'm working and back at college, these silly things won't matter as much. Just need to wait and see how it all goes I guess!

xox